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Saturday, February 10th, 2007
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2:47 am - Here's what OK Cupid says about me!
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 | | The Boy Next Door
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDm)
Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet.
We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what.
Your exact opposite:
The 5-Night Stand
Deliberate Brutal Sex Master
| On paper, most gay guys would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with boys. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.
More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Billy Goat
CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy |
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: buffyboy |
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| Friday, January 26th, 2007
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1:21 pm - Blindness is bliss but worse than ignorance
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They don't get it. I mess up at work because I don't pay attention to the details and they yell at me. They never pay attention to the details in life, especially concerning me, and there's no one to scream at them. I try to state my case and I get the speech about "being provided a rare opportunity". The detail they "can't see" is that fact that I don't pay attention to the details because my heart is not in it. This is not the life I want, this is the life that gets me by. It's like a long, earthen, and narrow shaft I have to crawl through to get to my goal. That bright shiny light that seems to retreat as I advance. My endgame is not the life they think I should live, it's college/university. My own mother even stated that I am a person who "constantly needs to learn". Unfortunately they would only support me as long as I lived up to their expectations.
current mood:  moody
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| Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007
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12:17 am - Why? why,why,why,why,why?
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I can't seem to figure out why people keep trying to pour their dreams into my head. I'm expected to go to post secondary and take in more classes and courses than I know I can handle. Then when that failed, I'm expected to fall into the workforce never to return because of that unwritten rule of the world that once you reach 21 you're too old. Now after reluctantly taking post in my family's business and finding it abrasive at the best of times I'm expected to take up my sister's (my boss's) mantle of manager as my current superior (my brother) seems to be incapable of handling the responsability. I would be grateful at having such an advancement if this were the career I wished to have. What was supposed to be a means to an end (specifically an end of my creditcard debt) has morphed into a life sentence. If that weren't enough, The owner (my dad) wants me to move into the building currently occupied by the business when he relocates the business during the year. Although it would be cheaper on gas (pro) it has no stove (con), it would take more gas to go everywhere else (con), and it would hand-cuff me permanently to the business (con). So now I have to face my dad (no pressure) and tell him A) I don't want his building and B) I don't want his business. Life sucks.
current mood:  aggravated
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| Wednesday, December 13th, 2006
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6:25 pm - What is going on with my family????
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I don't understand why I'm the only one who seems to have the rationality to accept each family member for who they are, bad or good. I'm starting to feel the strain of being the family-glue. Why can't things be discussed with them? How is it that they all can pour their thoughts/feelings/problems/etc. on me but I can't open up to them? Kel won't come home for christmas because of her preceived "ill-parenting" from my parents but she won't tell them that. Mom's upset with Krys because she has to move Christmas events to christmas eve so Krys and her husband can go to his parent's place for christmas day. Krys is upset with Sean because he is being lazy and unreliable. Sean just doesn't involve himself in anyone else's life anymore. I'm amazed that we are not screaming our heads off at each other 24/7. Also it doesn't help that the holidays intensify the situation atleast ten fold. I seem to be craving more and more sleep. I think it's sapping my energy taking on everyone else's problems and avoiding my own.
current mood:  blank
current music: Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
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| Wednesday, December 6th, 2006
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4:26 pm - Wow am I frisky right now...
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For some reason today I've had this overwhelming urge to rub/grab/cuddle/lick/grind and screw. It just came over me and it's a little freaky. I'm trying to think of a term for because Frisky just doesn't cover it... I can't be in heat because I'm male... Geeze, Frisky will have to do for lack of a better word. I'm not horny because I'm not sporting a perma-boner but ut's intense whatever it is. I hope I can get it out of my system without ending up in a jail cell or on the wrong end of a fist.
current mood:  Frisky
current music: Radio (crap song)
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| Friday, December 1st, 2006
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2:11 pm - If it's true, how come I'm not beating them off with a stick?
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current mood:  happy
current music: Popular Mechanics For Lovers - Beulah
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| Tuesday, November 28th, 2006
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2:44 pm - Help! I'm covered in cold wet stuff!
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What's this?
What's this?
There's white things in the air?
And this?
Bad drivers everywhere?
Wake up Thomas this isn't fair!
So because of this super weather we're having, I had to leave my car at the airport for the last couple days as my tires are going bald. I've been stowing away with Krystal and my dad and sleeping at my parent's house. However with Krystal as my ride, I have to go in with her at 5 in the fricken A.M. It's a good thing I'm a nighthawk as well as a morning person. However most of the time you have to drag me out of the bed physically to get me up. I think I'll wait one more night and then attempt to drive.
current mood:  bored
current music: the phone screaming at me
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| Sunday, November 26th, 2006
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1:14 am - Rolling Stones rock Vancouver
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Just got back from the Rolling Stones concert, although it was more like Rolling Stoned. Every second person in the stadium snuck in joints. If it weren't for the air conditioning they probably would have hotboxed the place. Some of their newer stuff seemed to be lost on the crowd but we clapped and cheered anyway. When they played the classics everyone went nuts and stood up and danced in their seats. We were the last leg of the concert and Keith Richards even joked about the whole brain damage thing. Someone in the audience brought a blow palm tree. They had played pretty much everything except "You can't always get what you want" and "Satisfaction". They sang "Brown Sugar" and then it seemed that they had ended the concert but the crowd roard and clapped and cheered enough for them to come back on and finish with those two songs in that order. Where I was sitting they looked like ants (until the stage actually moved to the center of the stadium and then back. Despite the fact that Derek and I didn't get to sit side by side, I still had an awesome time. I even bought a program. Now I must sleep because my father caled and told me to be in for 10 AM tomorrow instead of 2. :(
current mood:  tired
current music: You Can't Always Get What You Want - Rolling Stones
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| Thursday, November 23rd, 2006
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2:56 pm - I feel like a douche bag
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I'm sick and feeling shitty but that's not entirely why I feel like a douche bag. Mainly it's because I feel like I lead a guy on when in actuality he was running while I was doing a liesurely stroll. He has these intense feelings for me that I can't return and he feels so strongly for me that it seems almost easier to pretend. He's an amazing guy, his thirst for knowledge is unquenchable, he's really sweet, extremely opinionated and caring but I just don't have the warm-and-fuzzies for him. It's nothing physical either, it's just I don't get that feeling inside and I don't know how to communicate that without destroying him. I wanna be good friends with him and I like spending time with him and his roommate and his rommate's boyfriend. I fear if I tell him flat out that I won't be seeing them again... The truth is supposed to be the simple thingbut it always seems overly complicated. I don't want to rule him out and I don't want him to wait for me but I guess I'm going to have to deal with one or the other because I don't think he'll try moving on as long as I'm in the picture. We're not even Boyfriends and I still feel as though I'm breaking up with him!
current mood:  sick
current music: Oh What a World - Rufus Wainwright
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| Monday, November 20th, 2006
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9:30 pm - Oy vey!
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So work was good except for my stupidity leak from the night before (I forgot to send a B13 document to Stats Canada and Customs and each late entry could get us a fine of upto $10,000). Then I came home and waited for Derek so we could go to a book reading at the Greater Vancouver Jewish Community Center. Well we manage to navigate our way down to the place (not without some setbacks) and manage to get and sit just in time for it to start. Derek and I are in the front row and my cell phone goes off. It is set on high and viberate. Thankfully it was only during the authors pre-read speech (which was just some anecdotes and side notes). The small room of people instantly turn their heads and all eyes are on me. I apologize profusely while shutting the damn thing up and turning it off. The book was "The Violin Lover" it's about this guy who lives in London during the 1930s and he apparently does something so horrible that he gets wiped from his family tree. It's based off an actual member of the Author's family. From what she read I was intrigued and bought the book. As for the missed call, it turned out that it was my dad calling about tomorrow's tuna. Not to inform me of whats going on with it but to ask me. There were no docs faxed in, they will more than likely be in TOMORROW with the fish but hey I can see the future. I must say that reading has made me think of some ideas for the story I'm working on....
current mood:  creative
current music: Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
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| Sunday, November 19th, 2006
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9:04 pm - Relaxed, diggin' the Apple
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I have been hopelessly addict to Fiona Apple's "Extraordinary Machine". Something about the song just speaks to me and I feel the need to play it and replay it and hum it and sing it. Also her cover of "Sally's Song" from Nightmare Before Christmas seems to be having the same effect. Recently I've been thinking about theme songs for people (including myself) and have come to the conclusion that "Extraordinary Machine" fits Stephanie very well. I've been in search of good mellow music similar to the aforementioned songs and have received a ton of good suggestions, among those are: Cup of Coffee - Garbage, The Scientist - Coldplay, Be Gentle With Me - The Boy Least Likely To, and Virgin State of Mind - K's Choice. My best friend Derek burned an awesome mix for me using mainly OC soundtracks. I can't seem to get enough of the mellow, in fact I'm so relaxed right now I could sleep, even though it's only 9 PM... *YAWN* excuse me. :D
current mood:  relaxed
current music: Extraordinary Machine
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| Monday, November 13th, 2006
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7:38 pm - Damn it!
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So here I was having a slow/quiet day when the world pulls out and cocks the Fuck-With-Me gun. I was at Safeway and found a really good head of lettuce, a couple of amazingly fresh tomatoes and I got an nice cashier. I decided that since I was on my way out I'd it the starbucks for a green tea frapp. Things had gone so smoothly and the barista was so cute, that I didn't mind the amount of time he was taking to help the lady in front of me. Finally he gets back to me and apologizes for the wait, and I say no problem and smile. After I order we chat/flirt a little while he's making the frappicino. Then he says because I waited so long that he'd give me the venti size at no extra charge. Thinking it was a good sign I accepted, just before I turn to leave this girl comes up and turns out to be his girlfriend. So I mentally kick my shin for assuming too much but head out happy because I still got more than what I payed for. Well I go to leave the parking garage and BAM! the frapp falls out of the cup holder and hits the floor of the car in fron of the passenger seat. I now have less than what I paid for, I would have laughed at the symbolism if I wasn't so cheesed off about having to clean it.
current mood:  irritated
current music: Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple
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12:15 am - Delayed, Distracted, and Depressed
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I write here, however long overdue, because it's just another place that emphasizes the 'E' that my friendship gas tank is on. I say that because much like the meter on a car's gas tank, it was plainly visible and avoidable but there just wasn't enough to keep it going to the next re-fill station. I realize how Emo this is sounding but I seem to get a bit poetic when I'm sad. Until they met him on-line I was in denial. Then I started to see the truth of things and said they weren't my friends but acquaintances out of spite. Now it's said out of acknowledgement. It was punctuated by a car ride to the movies. I sat there and it was like having some new person in the car. It was awkward but not the "We-don't-see-eye-to-eye-regularly" kind of awkward, it was more of the "I'm-sorry-but-what-was-your-name-again?" kinda awkward. I could have a relationship with her but after about 6 years and still no real connection, it seems like too much on-going effort. It hurts and right now I have no one to talk to about it. Well I do but they're all more than likely so sick to death of hearing me go on about this same group of people. I'm meeting new people, hopefully mixed in among them are people who I will connect with but not obsess over.
current mood:  depressed
current music: Courage - Sarah Polley
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| Monday, July 31st, 2006
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10:59 pm - Cherries of Doom
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Ok so, I'm told on saturday that I'm to come into work at 8 A.M. for cherries. No problem, I ask if I'm to go directly to the airport or to the office and my dad says "Well, we have cherries and tuna coming in." (ya that answers my question) so I take it to mean "go to the office" because the docs will need to be done up. I show up at ten after eight and nobody's there, so sit at Krystal's desk (because of the big comfy chair) and I snooze for pretty much an hour. A few minutes to nine I get a call from my dad and he's wondering why I'm at the office while their at the airport. (I later found out I was the only one on time, everyone else including my father slept in). So I get down to the airport and on the way I take note of some mean and angry looking clouds. Dad, Katie, Krystal, and Sean are all in the swing of things with the skids of cherries. Half an hour after I get there and start helping, they send me to go get a a disposable camera from the gas station (for reasons I'm still not aware of). I go to the gas station, wait in line, get the disposable and head out directly into a full on raging storm. ofcourse I left my jacket back on a skid of cherries and now have to face the squall in a t-shirt and jeans. I brace myself and all I can think is "this is gonna suck" which I also say aloud before bolting head first into the torrential downpour. In the three seconds I ran from the door to the car I got head to toe drenched and pelted with pebble sized hail. Back at the airport I find everyone's drenched and the cherries (in cardboard boxes) are covered and protected. Eventually the storm passes and the sun shows itself. After drying the skid wrap as best we can, we resume work. My dad manages to dump two skids of cherries which we have to re-build (Each skid is approximately $350 in value). When all is said and done it's 6:30 and all of us have been thoroughly drenched, dried, and then burned by the sun. Two words: Cherries Suck!
current mood: drained
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| Thursday, July 13th, 2006
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10:42 pm - WTF parents groan....
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Went to The Keg on Monday for my mom's birthday, which was fine and dandy. That is until my dad got a bit too much white wine in him. We try our hardest to keep my father away from white wine for the sole reason that it unleashes his "Mr. Hyde". Red wine makes him bounce around on the emotional spectrum sort of like a roulette wheel. Well he had a few glasses and somehow we all started to get on the subject of making choices. My dad busts out this line about me "walking down the street and making the right decision about a guy". Then he says to me "you don't think I remember conversations but I do." This came out of nowhere, but not only that,
I was mis-quoted. On that most mortifying night, after my Father so eloquently asked "So you like anal sex, huh?", I tried to explain that it wasn't sex. I used a hypothetical situation of me walking down a street to explain my attraction. I said "On one side of the street is a hot girl and on the other a hot guy. I am inclined to the hot guy because I don't feel attracted to the girl, therefore no compulsion." my being gay is just another one of those subjects he won't breach unless drunk. I can't be sure but if he's trying to show his support, he's going about it the wrong way.
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| Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
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12:52 am - Nothing to report
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All is quiet on the western front.
current mood: blank
current music: Fan
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| Tuesday, July 4th, 2006
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1:06 am - Strangess of my life
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Things have gotten curiouser and curiouser for me over the last few days. It all began on Friday, I went to Annie's grad party, I was late but still scarfed and stowed a butt load of food. Halfway through the girls had to leave to drive X-tina to the skytrain and pick up Kristen from work, while they were doing that, Tom, Mike and I bonded over an hour long walk around the neighbourhood. Then I drove Kristen home and went to bed. following day I got up went to work, it was dead and I would have been painfully bored if not for the amazingly entertaining rubber ball left in my department (it's even more entertaining than a regular one because it blinks when bounced). So I bounced it around for a few hours then withdrew my rent money, donated some to Swarn's going away present and went home and made hotdogs. Seeing as there would be excess doggage, I took some to Christina at work. It was like a sauna in that hydro building, you'd think that because the are the power plant that they wouldn't care about leaving their air conditioning on, but oh no just sit and sizzle you little peon contract security guard. I headed home but didn't feel like going home instead I went for a walk. originally just a short stint around our neighbourhood as I've never actually gone and checked the place out. I found that we have a community school two streets up, it's also where the nice big houses are and I found out all the streets are named after U.K. cities (London, Dublin, Edinburgh, etc....). After my exploration, I still felt like walking and not going home. So I walked from here to Moody park, then to safeway and back, I had my Ipod so I was entertained, as well as entertaining by my grooving, dancing, and singing down the street at 12:45 at night. I actually wore a hole in my shoe. Next day I was off to work for eight freaking hours. It was UN-BE-LIEVEABLE, I got up and I could barely bend one knee and both my feet were throbbing. My shift as floorseller was excruciatingly long and drawn out. Once it was done, I went and helped my mom post her pink furniture on Craigslist. Then I was banished back to Suoerstore again as my mom needed a few things for Kelly's grad party on Monday. The following day was a holiday so I didn't need to go in to Flying Fresh until 4:00 PM so I got up and went with Ash to Superstore (once again). I helped her shop, we went back to her house to unpack and she then dropped me off home. I went to the office, went and handled two shipments which made me late for Kelly's grad party (Deja vu?). This is where it differs, halfway through Kelly's grad party someone shouts "Airband Competition!". Next thing I know, I'm on team/band "B" and I'm rummaging through my oarents closets throughout the house for costumes while Kel's friend B-squared is choreographing moves to Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man". Then the other team "Sparkle Motion" is performing to "Mony, Mony" in the backyard which is quickly followed by our act in which I leap frog over Kel's friend Patrick (Patty)who's dressed in a silk nighty and my mom's old bathroom curtain and nothing else in the upstairs front room. Kelly's frineds are so psychotic but the psychosis seems sane while in their company. I feel sorry for my mom and the clean-up she'll be facing tomorrow. Anyway must go sleep now...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
current mood:  crazy
current music: ZZ Top - Sharp Dressed Man
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| Saturday, June 24th, 2006
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9:32 pm - Why do good things come at inopportune times...
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I've been wanting to leave my paents office for some time now but have been unable to find a high paying, viable job. Also there's the added pressure that ferns and cherries are going to be starting in a week or so and they are going to be almost double from last year's amount. The biggest problem is not really quantity, it's being able to meet all the trucks coming to the airport. Well I went into Superstore today and my supervisor tells me he wants my availability changed so he can train me to be a supervisor. This means I would get full on supervisor responsabilities and if another supervisor position opened up I would be a shoe-in. I had to negotiate a deal with my supervisor to cover my work days. If all goes as planned I can get through Flying Fresh's busy season, then get supervisor training, then quit Flying fresh, all the while dealing with a credit counselling company to eradicate my debt. I feel exhausted right now just thinking about it, although I'm feeling a bit sick...
current mood:  Lost, confused, and tired
current music: I Like the Way - Bodyrockers
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| Tuesday, June 20th, 2006
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5:31 pm - Interesting day and night yesterday
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So everything's going just fine yesterday, little slow. In the morning there was a little excitement due to some idiots in Calgary but other than that not much is happening. Then out of the blue, after a run of the mill phone call to a customer, my sister just breaks down and starts crying. Literally bawling her eyes out. Sean and I of course went over to comfort her. It seems she is suffering from an anxiety attack. This is new to me, Sean's had them and apparently my mom had them too. Thankfully I have yet to experience such a thing. She's generally a private person and so now with the wedding, she feels like she's standing in the spot light and that's too much to handle. After that she got picked up by my mom and went back to my parent's house. We had fathers day dinner that was very good and oddly enough, my mom said she'd do the dishes instead of us but the girls got up after dinner and did it themselves with out a single argument. It was a truly amazing thing. Mom then showed off her new backyard lighting scheme and we chatted about work and near-future events. My sister will be moving back home with her fiancee to save up money for a house. They also plan to have a baby very soon after marriage. Mom is just tickled at the idea at grand children, especially always instantly accessible grandchildren. Also I am to become FFAF's Envirotainer specialist.
current mood: content
current music: Wind chimes
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| Monday, June 19th, 2006
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10:49 am - Funniest thing happened on the way to work...
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Yesterday, I was goofin around on Craig's list while waiting for laundry to dry and looking at random posts and things when I cam across this post: "my spanking this evening or afternoon - 24" ( http://vancouver.craigslist.org/m4m/172588268.html ). I laughed and then continued on my. Well this morning I stopped at Timmy Ho's like usual on my way to work. Well who should walk out of the place but mister "spank-me-I've-been-naughty" himself. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, that this wasn't the same guy. Then I passed him on the way in and it was him, right down to the same style glasses. I nearly hit the ground in a fit of laughter. Instead I bottled it up a little, smiled at hime politely as I passed and went inside. After that I just giggled to myself the entire time I was at Tim Hortons until I got back into my car. There was a guy he was walking with but there was no way that could have been his "master". Man, just goes to show, you never know about some people until they post it on the internet for all to see and wonder.
current mood:  giggly
current music: nothing
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